Wednesday, March 04, 2009

You don't need to tell me, I already know. I'm the Worst Mom Ever

Okay, so you force me to just admit it, and get it out of the way. I am the worst mom in the world. At least it appeared that way if you happened to be in Chesapeake Square Mall, or anywhere even remotely close to Chesapeake today. I saw you, and you were glaring at me and my children.

Don't think I didn't notice you snicker and whisper to your friend when they both ran, screaming and yelling and making "Star Wars Blaster Sounds", out of the Rack Room Shoes while I was trying to pay for their "spiffy school picture day" shoes. I saw you roll your eyes as I had to tell the girl at the register to please watch my things while I went out into the mall to retrieve my children.

And don't think I wasn't acutely aware, as I was trying to pick out new shirts in Ross, and they were boxing and hitting and wresting each other INSIDE the cart, that you had turned your nose up at me and made a *tsk-tsk* sound with your tongue.

Oh, and I could feel your eyes bearing down on me as I bopped them on the behind while we were leaving Target because they wouldn't stay at the checkout register with me, but instead wanted to run circles in the food area and terrorize the people trying to enjoy their popcorn.

I KNOW what you were thinking, because when I was childless, I thought the same thing. I wondered why that frazzled, distraught, unkempt, exhausted, irate, impatient, angry mother couldn't keep her kids under control. Just why couldn't she tame them while in public so they wouldn't be such a menace.

Well, to all of you mall-dwelling mother judges out there, I just have one thing to say..

*tsk tsk* I'd just like to see you walk in my shoes...

and I have a word of advice...

give a tired mom a break. Some day, you may find yourself standing mortified in the mall, and would just like someone to smile and say, "Don't worry, the grow up, eventually!"


amylouwho said...

Amen sister.

I would love to give you a hug and tell you eventually they'll grow up and you'll miss the little guys. But only if you'll hug me back and say the same thing.

March and the end of cooped up winteryness is H.A.R.D.

Charlotte Geary said...

I'm sorry you had such a rough day, Jen. If it's any consolation, that was some great writing. :)

Sam and Rachel Tramontana said...

OMG Jen, that was sooooo funny! I remember once when I was in Kohl's - Zach was maybe just a little more than 1 years old - he was in the Kohls cart and he kept putting his mouth on the bar - and I tried to stop it, but ... well, it wasn't working. I walked past these two ladies and I heard them say as I walked past ... I canNOT believe that mother is letting her baby put his mouth on that dirty thing. I can assure you that they've had much worse in their mouth since then (you know, like week old french fries that get left in the car seat? Or fruit snacks they find under the kitchen table....) LOL, that made me smile!!